If you had the power.....

      My mind is running wild today..... I slept great again last night and I'm feeling G-reat! I've been really emotional lately... just really spending a lot of time thinking and contemplating my life, my dreams, who I really am, and what makes me happy.
      I've been reading a lot of  books and have really had an impression left on me. I have a new drive to really implement changes in my life. I want to make my life the best it can be! I want to seek after the things that make me happy. I am in the works now of making a list of things that I need to change! (I think I just took on a pt job! lol)
     Forgiveness is a goal of mine. As my title starts.... "If you have the power....."; If you had the power to forget one bad memory, what would it be? What is it that keeps you hanging on to that event in your life? What is the thing from you past that keeps you from being happy today? Why does it keep that lingering feeling inside of you? Why does it still hurt? Do you still see the person that was involved in that event? What if I told you, you DO have the power to forget that event?! You DO! You have the very thing it takes! It's forgiveness!
     I have a really hard time with this! I don't want to be a person who holds grudges... or allows bad feelings to linger. Forgiveness is really what frees you from all of that, frees you from the bad memories, frees you from wanting to pay that person back for what they did, frees you from the situation. Forgiveness isn't for the person that wronged you, it's for you!
     I don't know about you, but as a kid I was taught when you hurt someone's feelings to say you're sorry and if you are on the receiving end, you say "I forgive you". This is a great thing to teach your children, don't get me wrong, but maybe since I had so many siblings (and I was a bad kid lol) I heard those words a lot! It almost became just something you say in "that situation". I was taught how to say "I'm sorry", "I forgive you", but I was never taught how to really forgive someone. I was always still mad afterwards....and for days coming. 
     Just recently I have really realized that I'm still mad at a few people in my past/life. I decided to take action about this. I want to let it go, I want to move on, I want to live for the future! I don't want to live with wondering/worrying if I run into these people how sick I will feel or how I will just go blank and not even be able to face them. What a horrible feeling! 
     I started making a list of these situations, people and events that still hold me back. Let me tell you, it's rough! It's hard! I almost, ok so I did start crying just over writing them down! It takes a lot... but just be patient.... it gets better! 
     I had to put the pen down a few times because the emotions that came over me. I had no idea these feelings were so deep. Whenever I would think about any of these people or events I would just push them away and be happy for now...  but really that just put more dirt on the casket. Gotta face these people and forgive them. 
     I know this is just a process that I have begun. And I have a lot more to deal with, but I have made the step to forgive them.