Moment of realization.....

      I don't know what it is lately... I've been so inspired! I've had an overwhelming feeling of happiness and passion and the drive to live out my dreams. It's such a great feeling to dwell in. Yesterday I just couldn't get my mind off of all the things that I want to do in and with my life. 
     I had a moment of realization... You can make this/your life ANYTHING you want it to be! You CAN do ANYTHING you WANT to do. It was almost a sigh of relief. I have been surrounded by people and attitudes of regret or just a "blah" about life. How do these people miss it? How can they not see that if they are not happy, they CAN change it! They don't have to live a mediocre life! You don't have to settle for "whatever life brings you". Get up, shake that attitude/mind set and LIVE! 
     I know it's not easy... I have been depressed.... really depressed... devastated in fact. The hardest part of recovery is the mind set. Get with yourself, have a little meeting, get your mind right and pull yourself up with your boot straps. Look for those who know you and believe in you for inspiration. 
     My life has been anything but a piece of cake! However through all the things I have realized; I can either 1. dwell on the things that hurt/upset and almost destroyed me or I can 2. let the past fade! Let the past be the past. Live for the future! Make your "Bucket List"!! MOVE ON!! 

     This is a song by One Republic (which I have a new found love and respect for!) and I think it should be a theme song!! Live so you can love life! 

Lovin the life!

    It's Monday!! I was off work Friday so it doesn't quite feel like a Monday for me; However the weather here is so blah it's the same feeling as a Monday... you want to stay in bed! I'm glad I opted out of that though!


     This past weekend was fun, low stress and productive! Just my style! I think I cleaned for 8hrs yesterday! It's crazy to think I had that much cleaning to do!! I still had some boxes stashed away from moving that I needed to get to (and still have some! eeek) and I had piles of laundry to catch up on... and I had to unpack from our little trip to Chi Friday!


     We, as in me and Mitch (and Wynsten!), went to Chi to surprise my bff for her Birthday.... even though it's not until tomorrow, it was the closest weekend to it! She had NO idea! It was great! 

We went to the farmers market Saturday. That was my first time going to a farmers market in Chicago; Although I'm sure there are TONS since the city is so big!










     It was a chill-type-of-day! Started off with Starbucks! Their internal  pos system was down so they set up outside and gave away free coffee! If that isn't a great way to start out the weekend, I'm not sure what is! 

  


They had herb gardens! Love.It.! All kinds of flavored/colored cheeses from WI. (of course) and other various locations. And my favorite.... flowers! They had some really neat flowers I had never seen before!      


     And then for a great Saturday evening! IL FOOTBALL! I love football! This was a great game!! IL takes the W.I.N.! Yah! I really hope that this sets the season off and we have many more games like this! 

We had great seats!

 

     

Picture take By: Mitch

     I'm feeling over whelmed today.... Not sure why. It's been a pretty chill day; I just have a lot running through my mind.... changes at work... to getting school done.... to publishing my book... to what I think I want to make for dinner. 
      I'm glad it's Friday! This week has been kind of hectic. Partially b/c I've been recovering from being sick and partially b/c I have been trying to get everything in it's order and my life situated! I have so much to do.... I really need to get my school done! 

In a daze...

     I'm so out of it today, but have so much on mind.... that has been running....all-night-long. I went to bed at 10:30 last night..... only to find myself awake about midnight. I can't remember if I woke up b/c I was too hot, or my dog had to go out.... but for whatever reason I was awake.... wide awake... mind racing... heart racing.... I laid there and waited, thinking surely I would fall back asleep shortly.... 
    2 hrs later, I was till laying there.... wide awake.... my mind bouncing from moving to what I want to pack... what I want to get rid of... what I want to do with my life... where I want to be... and how in the world am I going to get there!? I just wanted to get up and GET AT IT! I wanted to get everything packed, everything organized THEN I would be able to rest and sleep for sure! 
     I didn't end up getting up and getting anything accomplished (but taking my dog outside multiple times!) but I finally found a peace and fell asleep. No, the nyquil wasn't my peace.. but it definitely put me into a deep sleep.... which in the end back fired on me and I couldn't WAKE UP! I guess any person thinking straight would know not to take nyquil at 3am when you have to wake up early the next day. Not me soo much, at 3am, and I've been awake for several hours, not tired at all, I was desperate! I HAD to sleep! So I dove in! I got my sleep!!! And I got late to work! 
    But I'm here! I'm chuggin along. Mind still stirring... I have so much I want to accomplish. I really feel like I am creeping up a mountain and I am about to reach the top!... and soar! I'm going to be some body! 
     Regardless of my past, or anything that has tried to hold me back since then... not going to let it have a foot hold on me or living my dreams. I have truly been inspired. I feel like one of my purposes in life is to help someone... I really don't know who it is, or how I will meet them, or if I already have met them for that matter! I just know that I try and show people there is a better way to life, you don't have to let your past be a part of your future and YOU CAN live your dreams! I try to love everyone I can, I wish good things to happen to everyone, even the people who have wronged me. 
     I know not a lot of people know much about my past, how I grew up, or heart ache I have been through; Some from choices I have made and some from choices others have made. 
     Growing up I  never thought I would ever go through some of things that I have... including divorce. (I will blog more on this some day...) How do you handle going through something you don't believe in?? It really strains you and what you believe in and how you view things and people. It literally broke my heart. 
     I remember the day that I found out my husband didn't want to be married anymore... it was a spring day in April... my whole world stopped.... I didn't sleep at all that night... I laid awake thinking of so many things... "what happened" I kept thinking and saying over and over. I went to church the next day. There were so many people that reached out to me. And in the midst of all my pain and confusion I had a <such a little> comfort in knowing the people who surrounded me had been through the same thing... they cried with me. I look back, years later, and am *so* thankful for those people!!! I hope some day some day I can be that "help" to someone going through one of life's devastations. 
----I'm working my way up to write my story----


     I'm trying to conclude my writing on the book I have been writing for almost 2yrs now(!!!) and I am going to continue in my writing by <I think> writing my biography! I think it would be a healing process for me but also would help someone get through some of the things that I have gotten through with *hope* that you can get through all things! You have to believe in yourself and press on! Embrace change, it defines your character! 
    

ZOKU!!!!

      Friday!!! It's *finally* Friday! Just being able to say that is a sigh of relief for me! This week has been challenging.... not just to get through, but to keep my cool! It seems like it's been one thing after another. On top of changing my hours... I DON'T wake up early in the morning, but here I am an hour earlier every day into work! Yikes! I had car problems.... flat tire... lost lug nut key... THANKS Tires Plus!! (but I do have to appreciate that they made it up to me and replaced it and are working on my car as we speak). 
      It's the little things this week that have helped to keep me sane! Everyone has been asking me about this $100 pop cycle maker I decided to purchase online one day while I was at work.... So let me tell you all about it!....

                                                                       

      Zoku! It's a Zoku pop cycle maker! It's A-mazing! I was a little skeptical at first.. I mean, really a $106 <to be exact> pop cycle maker!? It better be worth it!!! I'm glad to report, it's totally worth it! I got a  recipe book and a "tool kit" also! There are so many varieties and so much room for creativity! It's a blast! 

      I'm a HUGE fan of anything Mint Chocolate Chip Cookie anything! So the first ones I decided to make were none other than Mint Chocolate chip! It was super easy! A lot of the recipes use Coconut Oil. I don't have much experience with coconut oil, however after this I will definitely use it more often! Any time melting chocolate just through a little bit of coconut oil in it! Not only does it keep it melted longer, but it also gives you a shiny finish after the chocolate has set/froze! It's great! These were a hit! 

      This is what the machine looks like. Prior to hitting the "submit order" button, I did a lot of research and every picture that I saw, made me think that this machine is pretty good in size. It's really smaller than it appears! (even in this pic). It's really small/compact, fits right in your freezer! You leave it in the freezer, then take it out when you are ready to make your pops! Their claim to fame is "Pop cycles in 7mins!" It's true! It's super fast and easy! 
     I'm so glad I bought a Zoku! Can't wait to have pop cycle parties this summer! I may or may not be booking parties!?