feelin sickly after a long-fun-weekend!

     Ugh.... It's Monday..... and I'm sick..... double negative! I guess that's all the more reason that this week HAS TO get better, right?!
      Had a great, long weekend! I left for Chicago Friday night. I stayed with my bff. Had a great time! Went to a friends Bridal shower and Bachlorette Party Saturday! That was one of the nicest showers I have ever been to! Literally! It was hosted by a family friend of the brides, and she went all out for us! It was amazing! And sent us on our way with Starbucks gc! Um.. she doesn't know this but she is my new bff! haha. 

     I got to experience a lot of amazing food this weekend! One of my favorites was dinner Saturday night! We went to Blue 13. It was so good! It was a little upscale/pricey (our bill was over $400 lol) but it was amazing! Here is their "doughnuts and coffee". (pictured right) They were like little "beads" of jelly almost. You put them on the plate and break them and dip the doughnuts in them! A-mazing! The service was great! It's a rather small place and we were quite the group coming in, but they accommodated us well and set the tone for our evening that ended well! I would suggest this restaurant to anyone going to be in Chicago area!
     I'm glad the weekend is over, I'm trying to get better. It felt so good coming home! My puppy was so excited to see me he was literally leaping in the air! It was the cutest thing, ever! It was so cute! Made me feel good he was *that* excited! I've never left him over night before. Don't see how I'm ever going to go to Italy with out him either... hm... air line tickets for dogs!? Yes please! lol

Life is passing me by....

      Here it is.... a week later since I last blogged! Time goes by so fast! I feel like it's been so long since I last blogged and so much has happened, but yet it's only been a week! 
      This past weekend we went camping with some friends! It was a blast... well minus the tornado warnings that pretty much shut down the camp site for well over an hour... and me... yah, I got back in the jeep! haha. Other than that 2hr hold over, camping was a blast! I love to just get away from life and let loose and not deal with every day stuff. 
      My dog got sick last week. I think it started Wednesday. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but oh my gooosh! NOT fun! I was up cleaning up after him and doing laundry all hours of the night! 
     I took him to the vet. (Country View) They were great! So helpful and so nice! They did everything they could to help me! I would recommended them to any and everyone! They are located on Springfield in Champaign right next to El Toro! Click Here (and make sure you mention I sent you! I want the free coffee mug!! lol)
     I think I got a feel for what it's like to have a sick child through this whole process, but you love em.. so in the end all the extra work and lack of sleep doesn't really bother you so much! 
      I'm upset with my life! Really! I feel like I have NO TIME to do anything. I'm *always* on the go. I'm wore out all the time! And then I get all stressed out... and then it's just down hill from there! I really want to take dance classes and get  involved with yoga.... I can't even think of a time through out the week I could make that work! *sigh* I hope this all comes to the surface for me and I can make it work soon! 
     About the forgiveness thing.... I'm still working that out! 

If you had the power.....

      My mind is running wild today..... I slept great again last night and I'm feeling G-reat! I've been really emotional lately... just really spending a lot of time thinking and contemplating my life, my dreams, who I really am, and what makes me happy.
      I've been reading a lot of  books and have really had an impression left on me. I have a new drive to really implement changes in my life. I want to make my life the best it can be! I want to seek after the things that make me happy. I am in the works now of making a list of things that I need to change! (I think I just took on a pt job! lol)
     Forgiveness is a goal of mine. As my title starts.... "If you have the power....."; If you had the power to forget one bad memory, what would it be? What is it that keeps you hanging on to that event in your life? What is the thing from you past that keeps you from being happy today? Why does it keep that lingering feeling inside of you? Why does it still hurt? Do you still see the person that was involved in that event? What if I told you, you DO have the power to forget that event?! You DO! You have the very thing it takes! It's forgiveness!
     I have a really hard time with this! I don't want to be a person who holds grudges... or allows bad feelings to linger. Forgiveness is really what frees you from all of that, frees you from the bad memories, frees you from wanting to pay that person back for what they did, frees you from the situation. Forgiveness isn't for the person that wronged you, it's for you!
     I don't know about you, but as a kid I was taught when you hurt someone's feelings to say you're sorry and if you are on the receiving end, you say "I forgive you". This is a great thing to teach your children, don't get me wrong, but maybe since I had so many siblings (and I was a bad kid lol) I heard those words a lot! It almost became just something you say in "that situation". I was taught how to say "I'm sorry", "I forgive you", but I was never taught how to really forgive someone. I was always still mad afterwards....and for days coming. 
     Just recently I have really realized that I'm still mad at a few people in my past/life. I decided to take action about this. I want to let it go, I want to move on, I want to live for the future! I don't want to live with wondering/worrying if I run into these people how sick I will feel or how I will just go blank and not even be able to face them. What a horrible feeling! 
     I started making a list of these situations, people and events that still hold me back. Let me tell you, it's rough! It's hard! I almost, ok so I did start crying just over writing them down! It takes a lot... but just be patient.... it gets better! 
     I had to put the pen down a few times because the emotions that came over me. I had no idea these feelings were so deep. Whenever I would think about any of these people or events I would just push them away and be happy for now...  but really that just put more dirt on the casket. Gotta face these people and forgive them. 
     I know this is just a process that I have begun. And I have a lot more to deal with, but I have made the step to forgive them.